Plus One

Life lately feels like a wedding you’re not invited to—but somehow, you still show up, well-dressed, dancing with ghosts.

Over the weekend, I attended a wedding for a couple I know. I went to the ceremony earlier in the day. I’ll always take an excuse to get dressed up. I ended up sitting in the back, as I always do. The ceremony only lasted an hour. I left afterward and worked in between.

When I arrived at the party, something in me recoiled. The room pulsed with music and laughter, yet I felt like a satellite—close enough to orbit the energy, but not quite part of it. Watching couples spin on the dance floor, I felt the weight of my own stillness. Then something interesting happened. A girl I used to have a crush on appeared to be fully in the moment—a moment of treacherous haze, only visible through tequila.

Getting out there and dancing reminded me of early last year when I was into partying. That night felt eerily similar—a strange sense of mindfulness. While I was out on the dance floor, I was in the moment. I tried to soak it up. A recent thing in my life has been line dancing. When I say recent, I mean I’ve done it once. Still, I want to do it more. It really is amazing. The way I didn’t hesitate to get on the dance floor was a big win for me. There was something freeing in that moment.

I want to add more things to my routine so I’m not always in the same place. A switch-up is in dire need. I spend a lot of my days hanging out where I work, and I think it’s starting to corrupt my hard drive a little. I’m trying to chase moments more—without getting wrapped up in the hoopla.

A “plus one moment” is that quiet realization that someone bested you. Not with cruelty, but with cunning. You see it too late—like checking the scoreboard only to realize the game shifted while you weren’t looking. It stings, but it’s also a sign you’re in the arena. That’s the only place real growth happens. I try to remember that moments like these are proof I’m on the right path.

Over the past three weeks, I have learned I am big headed. Learning that I hurt people that I never intended to, just because of ego. That I made people feel seen when they never asked for it. Just because I thought I knew better. I fucked up. I am starting peer through the haze. It might not make sense just yet, but that doesn't matter. I sort of just realized that no matter how bad I want something to be true. I cannot change the outcome. I was acting childish.

I was lost in the rage of it all. Learning that someone got one over on me. The thing I realized is that I can only be mad at myself. I am accountable for my actions. I have had some shitty actions in the past couple months. It is easy to get lost in that labyrinth. To me the only way out is following Ariadne's string. The thread inside you that knows what is right vs wrong. Walking with it doesn't mean you won't stumble. Everyone falls. As I write this I am falling. Don't be discouraged because you tripped. You are on the right path.

When you wander into these labyrinths, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. I’ve done it. I can vividly remember the mistakes I made—ones that were deliberately deceitful. All you can do is learn from them. Trying to do better every day is all you can ask of yourself. If I’ve gathered anything from life, it’s this: keep pressing on. Drive to the lane and shoot the ball. Sometimes you’re going to miss or get hacked. But there will be moments when you get that and one. That feeling is unbeatable—knowing you fought for it. That sense of purpose.

All you can do is wake up every day and keep fighting.

We are pressing now.