Delta Monologue

What would you do if you felt this thing inside you yearning for more? That feeling that you are destined for more? That person or the internal dialogue telling you, “You are destined for more.”. Would you listen to them or would you fallback into your foolish ways?

I think anyone who wants to achieve any sort of “success” has moments like this. Knowing that some of the habits you have don’t help you become the person you want to be. Or more specifically the goals you want.

It seems like all the “greats” or people who are traditionally successful have to drown out the opinions of others (that is just an observation). You have to be relentlessly pursuing better, there must be change. That is not to say do not listen to other people, but some people just do not want the life you aspire to have.

They will say things like “you are going to burnout” or “it is ok to stop”. Maybe they are right, but if I give it thought. Those people do not have the life I want. While their opinion might have substance, it is not applicable to my life. I still take opinions of others, I just distill out the lessons and apply it my situation. Which is what you should do with any advice.

The thing is that in pursuit of any goal you have, stuff has to give. You cannot expect to be a person that has grandiose dreams and still be like everyone else. You cannot really go out, or keep staying up late. All the time that is spent not chasing your dreams, is time wasted. It is all on you, but it comes with resentment to yourself. Just be aware that comes with the territory.

Personally, I want to see what I can do. I want to push the limits of what I thought the bounds were. Not everyone wants that, and that is ok. That is why I find it hard to make friends, because people just want different things for their life. I tend to make friends with older people, 30+. Rarely, do I meet people my age chasing after dreams that they envision in the quiet of their own living room. That is why the circle is small.

Maybe that just means I am hanging out with the wrong crowd. Or maybe that means I am ahead for my age. It is a little of both, I suspect. That is something new that I am trying. Giving props to myself. I don’t do that, and as I said yesterday to my coworker, “I underestimate my ability.”.

What I am realizing, is that it is ok to brag on yourself a little. No one is going to believe in you as much as you. Your friends will cheer you on, but they do not see the full picture. They don’t see the pages your write, or the 2nd and 3rd drafts you write. The late nights that you labor at your desk, working into the odd hours ecstatic at the fact you starting recording your voice (even though that shit sounds cringe).

Honestly, as I write this I am on a flight right now. Trying to think of what this piece is really about. I had this idea of change in our life. The rate of change in which we grow. Cringing at your past self brings this sense of “shame” or “guilt”, but I think reframing it as a positive is the way to go. You are outgrowing your old self. If you aren’t ashamed of who you were a year ago, you probably aren’t growing enough.

There are things I did even this year that I am not proud of. Name dropping people out of my own insecurity or breaking my word to myself. Rewarding my bad behavior, when in reality I should be punishing it.

There is silver lining in all of this, is not taking for granted waking up the next day. Waking up gives you the ability to change your habits.

That is the beauty of change, it makes you reflect on just how far you have come. Even though you aren’t the person you want to be, taking actionable steps in the right direction is great.

PS: I am on an American flight, instead of Delta...