In The Pocket Soliloquy

I spend a lot of the time wrapped up in my head. It feels like a straight jacket. As I write this I am on the way to a conference for work. Something I thought would not happen.

I was supposed to go originally, but then got benched. I found out last week. I was bummed and bitter. I was carrying that feeling with me for a couple of days.

"How could they do this to me?"

"Don't they know how hard I work."

Someone senior to me texted me the night before wanting to talk. Still holding onto that sentiment above I told him I was busy. I was having some RNR with friends. Playing Arc Raiders, which I rarely do. I connected with him on Friday morning and he gave me a directive. "Find a way."

The pressure was on.

A fire was lit underneath me. This conference was something I was looking forward to. That bitterness seemed to dissipate, immediately. So were those emotions really something that needed to happen?

There was no time to dwell on it. I only had a day to figure out the plans. Locate a flight and hotel. I also had to balance all the work I had on my plate. Thinking that I could finish it up next week, since I wasn't going.

So, instead of the chill Friday that I thought was in store. It was busy, and I was scrambling.

While on the phone with my travel agent. I had located a hotel, that was also a great deal. I booked it.

That travel agent was offensive coordinator. She was making it all work behind the scenes.

Then late on Friday I called an audible. I did it to miss this snowstorm that is burying the North under six inches of snow.

I thought I was in the clear. Guess what? The blitz was on.

I found out my flight was delayed 5 hours. So I had to scramble again for a solution. I opted to switch back to my original flight. Having it all come full circle.

Maybe it was part of the process. Because I got to put myself in a situation way out of my comfort zone.

There was a Chief Revenue Officer that I have seen before. I have never met him or talked to him for that matter. I have only seen him presenting on stage. Ironically last year at the same conference.

I was sitting at my gate ready to board, when I saw him walk up. Thinking to myself "I should go talk to him. That would be a great connection" This was about fifty minutes before boarding. Before I could get up an act on it, he walked away. Maybe to get food or decompress before a long flight.

Either way I missed my shot or so I thought.

That moment sparked something in me. Take the shot when you have it.

So I positioned myself a little better trying to catch him when he came back. If he would.

I stood up and hung out by the "moving walk" (A conveyor belt for humans moving through the airport).

I was there a while scanning hoping he would come back. Rehearsing what I should say "What do top reps at your company do differently?" That was the question I wanted to ask. I went over it my head again and again. Ready to act on that.

There he was, by the gate waiting to board.

My heart beating. Hands a little wet. I walk up, he has headphones in. I do a strange hand motion to get his attention. He takes an earbud out.

Then I asked him that question I had been laboring over.

"I know you are the Chief Revenue Officer." I added to the back half of it to sounds smart.

"Actually, I am the product guy." Steve said.

He was the Chief Product Officer. I had read the article wrong.

The game plan was out the window. Heart beating faster and faster. I begin to make a fool of myself. Trying to think of a good question

"What makes a good product?" I blurt out.

There is a pause.

"It is a balancing act of our needs vs the clients needs." he noted.

"Be Empathic" was his final remark.

Then off he went onto the same plane I am writing this from.

Moments after that I was kicking myself for not asking a brighter question or coming up less nervous.

But maybe that is not the point. Maybe the whole point of that interaction was just taking the chance. Going up there to cold approach someone I was putting on this phantom pedestal. He is senior to me and I admire that. However, he is human just like me. All of it was made up in my head.

That empathy he spoke on needs to be applied to myself.

At least I took a shot at it, better than most. And I learned.

Pressure is part of the process. If you don't feel nervous you are not challenging yourself. Take the chance or lose it.

My flight got delayed, but it was for the best.