Low Down

I have been really slacking the past couple weeks. Just pushing my long form writing to the last minute. Telling myself that “I am not creative” or “I am moving”. The excuses come easy, and I act on them.

I am trying to be nicer to myself, because even on the days I am. They are just better. I started this writing to prove it to myself. Prove that I can do what I set my mind to. To an extent it has worked. I got an new job, moved to a new apartment, and slowly changing up my life.

A lot of things are changing, for the better of course. However, there still seems to be this thing inside of me that is not happy with the goals I have achieved.

Never satisfied.

It’s as if you were an archer looking for bullseye, but the target is 100 ft away on a trolley moving at 100 mph.

And it doesn’t help when you limit yourself with shitty sleep and a groggy mind. Really just bad behaviors, that I choose to perpetuate.

At the end of the day, I just tell myself “at least I am keeping the streak going.”.

But what does it really mean something if I am just delaying the inevitable? Maybe I have to choose the optimistic route and say this week is going to change it all?

Will it into existence, and quit dwelling on the past. The real crux of the problem.

Anyway, got a rep in. Better than nothing.

I am tough on myself, but that is because I expect a lot out of myself.

Cheers!